An operation
Its strange to feel scared of an operation on my shoulder but I am. The Doc has never experenced 100% success in my op and can't even guarantee my level of movement. It may be better or it may be worse. He is confident of alleviating my pain and that he won't break my spine. He can't do the op until my neck brace is off, so my neck will still be very vulnerabe. Also, because I couldn't fix my shoulder until my neck brace is off, the frozen shoulder has set. It will take more than a year to fix up, if it can be fixed at all. As for my wrist, I have clearly damaged it and will need to work on it in time.
He has never had a 100% success with this op, but he has never operated on anyone so young he said.
I have to have a general anaesthetic, which I hate because one is so vulnerable. At least I dont smoke any more...... the recuperation is 4-6 weeks, with 4 days in hospital. I may be in a sling for the entire recuperation.
I am really scared of it all. I am mostly scared they will turn me into a paraplegic, or kill me, by breaking my neck while I am under anaesthetic... I keep on thinking about things and can't turn them off... sigh...
I can't continue my research until this is done either . I just want to cry and cry, but I smile and be brave. At least I get nice feedback from my family and friends and Buffalo (who I am so grateful for :)) I do feel loved, just powerless and hurt.
He has never had a 100% success with this op, but he has never operated on anyone so young he said.
I have to have a general anaesthetic, which I hate because one is so vulnerable. At least I dont smoke any more...... the recuperation is 4-6 weeks, with 4 days in hospital. I may be in a sling for the entire recuperation.
I am really scared of it all. I am mostly scared they will turn me into a paraplegic, or kill me, by breaking my neck while I am under anaesthetic... I keep on thinking about things and can't turn them off... sigh...
I can't continue my research until this is done either . I just want to cry and cry, but I smile and be brave. At least I get nice feedback from my family and friends and Buffalo (who I am so grateful for :)) I do feel loved, just powerless and hurt.
posted by Juanita at 10:27 PM
2 Comments:
I have had surgery three times over the years. Four times if you count the melanoma they took off my forehead, which I don't. Each time I was apprehensive.
It wasn't that I feared death. It was the surrender of control. The giving my naked, helpless self over to the skill and, hopefully, tender mercies of people I did not know.
It was also fear of the unknown. What if they made a mistake and I woke up helpless within my body, perhaps attached to machines or bags or tubes to allow my body to function.
Fear of the unknown. We are all human, the fear is natural. When I face, shall we say unpleasant circumstance, I keep in mind countless others have survived the same experience I'm about to under go.
Hang in there!
It is about time for an up-date.
Hope your silence doesn't mean things are going poorly for you and your family.
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