!2 months later

I am getting fitter and look much more as I used to. I feel much more like I used to too, maybe it's taken this long to get over the shock of the smash. We are still together as a family, though that has been and is hard sometimes. I think I'm going to write a book about our experience.

Operation next week

Its been an eventful time. I graduated from speech therapy- there are no more supports they can teach me. I have spat it at my insurer and will put a complaint in writing to them essentially asking why they are torturing me when they don;t need to and their behaviour makes me sicker than I need be. I need new authorities for lots of stuff, and finally, my shoulder surgery is this week. Too stressed for words really.

Acupuncture and Insurers

I had acupuncture on my shoulder this week. I've had it before with no issue, but this week I seem to have some problems. The pain is shooting from my shoulder and up the right side of my neck into my head. I s'pose I'll tell the Physio.

Had a harrowing neuropsychology session this week too. I think I need to talk to my Psych about increasing my visits for a short while. The next is our last approved session, so I'll tackle it then.

As usual this week my insurer was patronising, wasted their money and mine, along with lots of my time. They sent an Occupational Therapist home to evaluate approval for my injuries. She certified me for various services until December, but because my GP only authorised the services until October 20, I had to get new authorisations. They wasted the doctors time, my time, the Occupational Therapist's time as well as all the $ everyone's spent on both the therapist and the GP. To make matters worse, they approved everything and sent me 3 pieces of paperwork that are contradictory, Two of them are wrong. Now I have to ring the insurer, be patronised again and find out which bit of paper is correct because God help me if I base services on the wrong little piece of paper.

Stress is apparently among my health issues post accident. My insurer exacerbates that no end. I am developing a new neurosis. I wonder if they factor themselves into the issues I now face?

I am the new piece-of-paper Queen. I am a champion paperwork clerk now. Maybe the insurer should hire me instead of the mental giants I usually deal with on the phone. *sigh*

Graduation

Well I have finally graduated from Speech Therapy. The process is fairly interesting because although we talked, we did nothing on my list of goal and the therapist applied pressure so I would say I'd achieved things on surveys. She also pointed out that I have exceeded her capacity to help and now I will need to join regular community groups to reskill myself.

I feel more centred anyhow and thats the main thing.

Group speech therapy cancelled

My Speech Therapist was sick so Rehab cancelled my group therapy. I wonder what it will be like?

This week my rehab homework is to spend 1 purposeless hour. I spent an hour watching 2 old Red Dwarf episodes yesterday- I hope that's enough. Plus I made my Dad a creme caramel for his birthday just because I want to. *shrug*

Group Speech Therapy

Hmmm group speech therapy will be the next stage of rehab. Apparently the group are all tertiary students and management from various organisations. Apparently, we work on strategies together and share our thoughts. It sounds very like shrink sessions I see on sit coms from US TV. But I'll give it a go, who knows, I may learn something and in any case, its nice knowing that I am not the only one who has had her life turned upside down.

Rotten week last week, because Sandy did something a bit silly and it jeopardised our life savings. It was the bank's fault, not his. He simply isn't as skeptical as he used to be. We had 3 or 4 rotten nights- I couldn't eat or sleep. It was hard to hold his hand and explain how angry I was at the bank. He first thought I was angry at him. Truth is, I was just angry, period (and I had a right to be). Its all fixed now though.

My neuro suggested that because I feel I cannot control my body or brain any more, that maybe I try and control everything else instead. Of course, her comment wasn't based on last week's experience with the bank, but was based on my interaction with Sandy during that whole thing and the not eating, not sleeping stuff plus other things I have told her. I don't know really.

One thing I do know is that I am a very suspicious human being. I have noticed that when various therapists give you analytical surveys/tests, which are about your feelings, they bully you into choosing a reduced level of whatever. I think its so they can go to your insurer and say "See? I am a good therapist. Look what I achieved with this patient". Also, they keep on providing examples about how "normal" people do things. I don't care about "normal" peoples' levels, I only care about mine. I want to be me when I heal, not some therapists idea of "normal". Everyone seems quite pleasant, and says I am assertive. Maybe I am assertive, or even aggressive, but I want to know what they use about me in correspondence with my insurer. I can't help that thought running through the back of my mind when I speak to various doctors and therapists.

Have to see a Neurologist about my headaches. It will be nice if she can fix them. I don't hold out much hope though. *shrug*

Tiring

I find rehab very tiring. I think the sessions are quite dense. One thing I noticed this week was that I still want to deny the accident had any impact on my life at all. I do anyhting I can to emotionally avoid dealing with what has happened. I suppose I still am trying to avoid it because, while I acknowledge and implement props and strategies, I only think about them in terms of getting by and stress. *shrug*